Can I Just Not Today?
I'm not insane, I've read every self help book known and unknown to mankind, I've learned my Sacred Self (thanks Wayne Dyer for writing one of my favorite books), I know that God is with me and will always have my best interest at heart, yet still some days I feel like, I just don't want to.
Earlier today I had a feeling of wanting to escape! No longer wanting to be responsible for anything, no rent, no car note, car ins, dinner or anything else, no business no nothing! I literally wanted to take the two kids that are left at home, move to a remote island, work in a local restaurant and just start over in a place where no one knew me and absolutely nothing is expected of me.
Being a single mom of five, building a business, in school, working, means responsibility is immense. I'm driven by production, by making it work, by making sure that everything is always ok on so many fronts that I can't begin to explain how many tentacles I have working in motion at the same time. I work tirelessly waiting for that moment when all things align and rest will come. When health, finances, business, issues are harmoniously in place. L freaking OL.
What I really want some days is for some one to give me permission to JUST NOT!
Most days when I want to move it's usually to country hop and explore different cultures, however these "I want to move to a remote island" days do exist nonetheless. I'd be a fool to say everyday is perfect. I LOVE my kids, love my business, love my jobs, love my life! I'm in a really good space, but there are days when I really want to just not!
I think as moms we JUST way to much and JUST NOT, not enough! My challenge for you this week is to JUST NOT! It will be ok....when you do it, then comes clarity, rest, peace, love, and that productivity that seems to escape you..
Today I was thankful for the Eclipse. It gave not just me but many people the opportunity to stop, talk to their fellow person whether they were known or not and JUST NOT!
These feelings, these days come and go, but I do know that ultimately God has me nestled in close to him and although I think he's probably laughing or at least a mere chuckle at some of the meltdowns I have, he may just be calming things around me so that I can Just Not!
Enjoy the rest of your day. I'm going to JUST a little more and then NOT!
Much Love to you!!
I.M. Just Not