Kids are like snowflakes..
Kids are like snowflakes, they appear to be the same, but dig deeper and no two are alike, and as similar as we think they are to us, they are simply just not. When we parent, we have the tendency to want our kids to act, think and do as we tell them at all times. When they don't, we feel the sting of thinking either 1. I've done something wrong or 2. What in the hell is wrong with this kid that they aren't who I've trained them to be. or 3. Wow, they are an individual and I'm amazed at who they are becoming. Aside from MAJOR issues, I would opt now in retrospect #3. This isn't how I parented until my children became old enough to tell me that "hey!" we are different from you, our family dynamics aren't the Taylor's (my maiden family name) and you've hurt us trying to make us be what works for you. Now that conversation was a bitter pill to swallow. I've worked hard (which is a right of passage we moms sometimes take) taken care of you, provided for you, defended you, how dare you not be who and what I request. hmph! I did manage, however, to raise my children to speak their mind so this is what I got. We are different, we think different, we like different things so please stop trying to make us into who YOU want us to be. We love you but you can be a bit selfish sometimes not considering us as people. For the first time, did I realize that they were people, I know that sounds weird but it's true. They were real people with real likes and DISLikes, with their own hopes and dreams and their own desires. I know as parents we think that our thoughts are the end all and be all, but kids are human and as long as what they are doing doesn't harm them, others, it's ok to see life from their perspective. They all have a journey that they are on and if we insist on pushing our way, it takes a while for them to get back on track. I'm not saying that this is the only way, I'm saying broaden your perspective and consider. I wish there was one cookie cutter way parenting worked, but alas, there's multiple ways because thankfully our kids are people...individual people. :) This is for all five of my children who are somewhat similar, but definitely not the same! I love you for what each of you have become, and will continue to evolve into. i.M. Mommy